A man asked a lawyer his fee and was told it was $50 for three
 questions.  "Isn't that awfully steep?" he asked.  "Yes," the
 lawyer replied.  "Now what is your final question?"
 
 A newly deceased lawyer protested to St. Peter that, at the age
 of 52, he'd been too young to die.  "That's strange," St. Peter
 replied.  "According to your time sheets, you're 89 years old."
 
 Q.  Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most
     toxic-waste dumps?
 A.  New Jersey had first choice.
 
 Q.  What do you need when you have three lawyers up to their necks in
     concrete?
 A.  More concrete.
 
 Q.  Why was the shipwrecked lawyer allowed to swim his way through
     piranha-infested waters?
 A.  Professional courtesy.
 
 Q.  What is the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in
     the middle of the road?
 A.  There are skid marks before the skunk.
 
 Q.  What do you call 2,000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of
     the sea?
 A.  A good beginning.
 
 (From NY Times, 6/30/89)
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 The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer.  "I'll increase
 your income fivefold, make your partners love you, your clients respect
 you, ensure you have four months of vacation and let you live to be 100.
 All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls
 and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."
 
 The lawyer thought for a moment and then asked, "What's the catch?"

 (From Network World, 8/16/04)